A Nonviolent Gift Guide—And Why It Matters

This holiday season, 300+ million people in the United States will be making choices with their wallets and gifts. From scented candles to toys, each gift can either reinforce the pervasive culture of violence … or it can build a culture of nonviolence in creative and empowering ways.

It’s no secret that the United States has a violence problem. The leading cause of death for children is gun violence. Mass shootings terrorize schools, shopping malls, movie theaters, concerts, restaurants, and everyday life. Violent hate crimes target vulnerable groups, along with harassment, intimidation, and bullying. Around 45% of our tax dollars go to military spending, which reaches into the billions each year and comes at the expense of life-affirming social programs. Police brutality killed 1,164 people in 2023, disproportionately impacting Black or Brown men. Over 30% of women have been harmed by an intimate partner through domestic violence, rape, physical harassment, and stalking.

Despite these horrific statistics, our culture continues to glorify and promote violence as noble, heroic, and “fun.” Violence in movies and television is getting worse, bigger, and more widespread. Increasing exposure to extreme violence in digital media and on screen is considered to be a mental health concern in adolescents. Video games, some funded or promoted by the military, subject users’ minds to extreme violence. Military recruiters target youth with promises of employment and education while glossing over the realities that going to war causes PTSD, moral injury, trauma, physical injury, and death.

During the holidays, many parents, grandparents, and family members reinforce the culture of violence by giving children toys that normalize it. Action hero toys from Marvel Comic Movies. Legos with military or violence-themed weaponry (knights, sci-fi fighter jets, Robin Hood archers). Toy guns of varying degrees of realistic shapes and sizes. Camo-patterned trucks, jeeps, army tanks. First-person shooter video games. The list goes on.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

A culture of peace and active nonviolence is possible. The skills, strategies, solutions, actions, tools, and frameworks have a robust history and a proven track record. We can help shift our communities away from this senseless addiction to a culture of violence and intervene with gifts that uplift the power of nonviolence.

This holiday season, make a choice to build it through the gifts you give to friends, family, coworkers, and community members. Here are some specific ideas.

Nonviolent gifts for kids abound.

There are dozens of options when it comes to nonviolent gifts for kids: art supplies, craft projects, building blocks, puzzles, sports gear and bouncing balls, bicycles, roller skates, animal toys, stuffed animals, bean bags, a pop-up tent, headlamps, library cards and offers for bi-weekly or monthly rides, kids cookbooks and kitchen time, musical instruments, imaginative dress-up clothes, sidewalk chalk, museum passes, tickets to bouncy houses, field trips and adventures, and more.

 Remember: war is not a game, violence is not “fun”. Swap out classic competitive games like Battleship or Monopoly for cooperative games like Ouisi or Co-opoly or Cosmic Peaceforce. You could create a personalized games book for young people by adapting this list of free, inventive games. A quick internet search for “board games without violence” will lead you into some fascinating discussion boards with people who, like you, are sick of the violence in our society and full of suggestions. (My family loves Ticket To Ride, btw.) You can also find lists of nonviolent video games and detailed reviews, along with studies on the different types of games.  

 Want to make a suggestion for this list? Let us know here.

Nonviolent gifts for adults are endless.

With adults, the list of holiday gifts that affirm nonviolence (and avoid violence) is nearly endless. Gift ideas include locally-made crafts like pottery bowls or plates, journals and calendars, beeswax candles, wreaths; local art, knitted hats or scarves, membership to a tool or toy coop, a CSA membership at a local farm; tee-shirts from peace and justice organizations, uplifting activist posters and art; handmade gifts like baked goods, sewing or knitting projects, paintings or other art, ornaments; tools or craft supplies; high quality cooking equipment like stainless steel pans, stir stick, blenders or mixers; seeds for flowers or vegetables, or gift certificates to seed catalogs or local nurseries; museum passes or tickets to cultural events.

(See below for more suggestions on gifts that specifically promote nonviolence.)

Self care and community care are forms of nonviolence.

In stressful times like these, people are seeking ways to take care of their bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits. Self care is a form of nonviolence toward oneself; community care includes the ways that we collectively care for our circles, together. You can support these practices by gifting things like all-natural skincare products, handmade soaps, bath salts, cozy socks or slippers, massage gift certificates, funds for counseling or therapy, invitations to community groups; gym, yoga, tai-chi, or dance class passes; health-focused cookbooks; an IOU for a pot of soup; a parks pass to local walks or hikes; journals; art supplies; candles and ritual books; self-help books or spiritual readings; subscriptions to uplifting news sources, invitations to join book clubs, women’s circles (or other appropriate identity-based groups), potlucks, community game night; participation in a food train for new parents or a childcare coop. Be creative and think about how your gifts can foster nonviolence toward oneself and how we can foster nonviolence in caring for our community.

Build a culture of nonviolence. Shift the reading list. Watch different movies.

Give your friends and family something creative and long-lasting this year: an invitation to a book club or movie discussion group that looks at nonviolence and peace. Check out your favorite nonprofits for upcoming groups or just start a book club or movie club. We have a list of nonviolent movies and Pace e Bene Press has numerous nonviolence books.

Here are a few book recommendations to get you started:

Explore our full Nonviolence Books List.

Want more peace-themed titles? We put together this Peace Books List for librarians in partnership with the Maine Peace Education Initiative.

You could also sign up for a virtual nonviolence course for/with a friend.

Normalize nonviolence with household gifts.

Pace e Bene has made numerous nonviolence-themed designs for household gifts. These mainstream nonviolence by offering everyday ways to disrupt the default settings of our culture. You could gift a friend with a set of fridge magnets or coasters to serve as daily reminders of nonviolence. Give a throw pillow to relatives or friends who have waiting rooms, like doctors, dentists, counselors, therapists, etc. Give coffee mugs to your workplace, local coffee shop, or soup kitchen. Hang a poster, tapestry (or get creative with huge shower curtains) at a local peace center or school. Sweatshirts, tee-shirts, and clothing for babies, kids, and adults make great gifts … and make it easy for people to promote nonviolence as they go to the grocery store, sports games, work, or other gatherings.  

Best of all? If you purchase these items from nonprofits like ours, it also helps to fund the long-term movement to build a culture of active nonviolence. It’s a win-win-win.

Nonviolence-themed gifts from our colleagues that we recommend.

Pace e Bene is part of a community of nonprofits and groups dedicated to advancing nonviolence. Gift ideas from our network include MK Gandhi Institute’s Gandhi Cards, Beautiful Trouble Strategy Cards, or supporting one of Nonviolent Peaceforce’s international peace teams in honor of a friend.

Got more ideas? We’re happy to consider including them in our gift guide. Let us know here.

Create your own low-cost gifts with our free resources.

Pace e Bene has a treasure trove of free nonviolence-themed resources. With a little creativity and a printer, you can use these to make free gifts for your friends, family, and coworkers.

Want to make a suggestion for this list? Let us know here.

Bonus! Engage in a little mischievous “culture hacking” during the holidays.

Culture hacking is the art of subverting or transforming pre-existing materials for another purpose or cause. As we shift from a culture of violence to a culture of active nonviolence, we’ve spotted numerous examples of this. Here are a few of our favorites for the holidays:

When one of our staff members received a camo-patterned car for his toddler, he plastered over the army decals with peace and nonviolence stickers. Now, his kid is a rolling peace-mobile as he trundles through the neighborhood playgrounds.

One peace activist goes to her local department store toy aisle and hides toy guns or violence-themed toys behind the nonviolent alternatives that emphasize art, science, creativity, and curiosity. Each time she goes in, she reshuffles the shelves, hopefully preventing one more parent or kid from succumbing to the culture of violence.

Another activist “curates” certain books and games, removing pages or playing cards that include military generals or war leaders as “heroes” in the frameworks of the stories or game. In this way, the remade gifts uplift peace and justice change-makers, inventors, artists, and other noteworthy figures not involved in war and violence.

Gamers For Peace advocate against war and unethical military recruitment in online gaming spaces. If you (or someone you know) loves video games, encourage them to join the group. Another creative idea is to be a conscientious objector to war in a video game. This activist group tries to do nonviolent runs through video games and reports on the difficulties of navigating software programs that don’t accept pacifism as an option. If you have a teen in your life who loves gaming, challenge them to try this. Then talk about it.

There are many fun, mischievous, playful, and impactful ways to subvert the dominant paradigm to foster a culture of nonviolence through the holidays.

Other Nonviolence-Themed Gift Guides:

Want to make a suggestion for our Nonviolent Gift Guide? Let us know here.

Rivera Sun