While human beings communicate in a variety of ways, our most intentional form of communication remains verbal communication. It also tends to be a relatively inefficient way of communicating. There are many components to verbal communication which make it incredibly capable as well as other characteristics which make it almost guaranteed to fail. The question, I find most interesting, is how do we use verbal communication as a positive means instead of a negative one?

    First, a comment on what makes it efficient. Verbal communication is our best way to express cognition. While we can express emotions very easily (sometimes more than we intend or want) through body language, it is hard to articulate those joys and sorrows with eye rolls and slouching. The most human element of being human is how we are able to process actions intellectually and change the course of our behavior. So verbal communication can, especially considering the vocabulary of a particular language, efficiently explain and clarify the emotions and thoughts a primitive person was left to only show via cave drawings and shrugs.

    One of the key elements regarding verbal communication is that it is very specific to dialect and language. It was, in fact, this very fact that began my thoughts about how to intersect my commitment to nonviolence and the speech cadence I use. I can’t speak to the ways in which other languages interact the efficiency of communication, but I can observe certain differences.

    This morning, while on the bus for my morning commute, I found myself listening to a conversation in an Asian dialect. I don’t know what country the couple was from, and I don’t know what language they were speaking. What I found interesting, in a completely uneducated, aural observation, was that their language seemed to be based more on inflection and pace than it did on consonants and vowels.

    Some of the languages in this world require a certain amount of pace to communicate. It isn’t just what is said, it is how it is said which translates meaning. Making one sound faster has a completely different meaning than making that very same sound slowly. English does not have this same aspect which means that inflection reflects emotion much in the way that body language can reflect emotion.

    Having the ability to convey subtext in how verbal communication is presented (I.E. raising one’s voice while saying something which is intended to be neutral) presents English speakers with a challenge and an opportunity. How can we be more aware of our voices when we speak, and how can this change the way we perceive the world?

    Deliberate action is a great way to learn about ourselves. In theater, actors are told that obstacles are how character is revealed. Forcing ourselves to act a certain way, especially to “walk the talk,” is a great way to identify our ideals and morals and how we live up to them. Experiences and exercises which “ground” us are often the ones which strip away the superfluous daily masks and barriers we put up, letting us reconnect with the vulnerable portions of our venerable selves.

Practicing Pace: Deliberate Speaking

    Here are five simple steps to change the way we present ourselves to others. These steps will also allow for us to increase the efficiency of our communication as well as to understand our intended messages as well as the ones actually conveyed including body language and inference. Honestly, many of these may feel like things our mothers told us as children, and that’s fine because motherly advice comes with generations of wisdom.

1. Breathe in and out once before responding to a question.

2. Speak slowly. Not just when you’re upset, either. Whenever you speak, be aware to speak more slowly and deliberately than you usually do.

3. Pay attention to the language your body is conveying. Is it in agreement with your words? Is it in contrast to them?

4. Be direct and honest. Language, of the body and of the word, allows us to be eloquent or to be loquacious. Make an attempt to communicate what we want the other person to hear instead of using games, innuendo, or hints.

5. Most importantly, it is acceptable to say you don’t know the answer to something. Often we begin speaking faster, louder, and consequently without forethought as a result of trying to “dig ourselves out of a hole” or trying to defend ourselves from something we find displeasing.